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Disclaimer: I own nothing except the chocolate milk I'm drinking as I write this. No, wait, my Mom paid for that...I own nothing!

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

Big Mac!


     It was late in the evening, and Sugarcube Corner was ablaze with activity. Ponies from all around town and the neighboring farms were gathered together celebrating the end of the harvest season and the brief break in work that came with it. Cupcakes were half-off, and sarsaparilla had been ordered for everypony, courtesy of Pinkie Pie herself.

     One pony, however, was not joining in on the wild partying and carousing going on. The draft pony known as Big Macintosh sat alone in his own personal chair by the fireplace, ignoring the laughter and enjoyment around him as he stared into the flames. His plow collar had been taken off and now sat slumped at the side of the chair, even it looking worn and dejected.

     Pinkie Pie hopped up beside Big Mac and set the tray of sarsaparilla bottles she carried in her mouth down. She tapped a hoof against his flank and looked up at him with massive, watery eyes. "Big Mac, are you okay? Usually you've had yourself a dozen drinks by now, it's really freaking everypony out!"

     The big work horse sighed and continued looking into the fire. "I don't know, Miss Pie, I just don't know. I used ta be able to buck so many apple trees, Applejack had ta race to keep up. Now this year, sigh...beaten out even by little Applebloom, my youngest sister. How can I call myself a proud workhorse now?"

     Pinkie Pie gasped, her front hooves flying to her mouth as she looked at Big Mac in shock. "Oh, that does sound really super awfully discouraging!" She leaned down and picked up a drink from her tray. "Here, have a root beer, quick!"

     Big Mac sighed and turned in his chair so that he was facing away from the pretty pink pony. "What for? Nothing helps. I'm disgraced."

     A general hush began to fall over the crowded bakery. Pinkie Pie scowled and shook her head, before rushing back around to face the towering hunk of Stallionness and bopping him on the shoulder. "Who, you? Never! Big Mac, you've got to pull yourself together!"

     Big Mac huffed and turned away again, turning the whole chair to face away from Pinkie. Pinkie Pie, however, would not be so easily stopped, and now that he had turned himself to face the rest of the room, what she had planned would be even better!

                       "Gosh it disturbs me to see you Big Mac

                        Looking so down in the dumps."

     Big Mac rolled his eyes and gave a snort, the force of which blew the pink pony away. Pinkie landed on a table occupied by several ponies and instantly looked back up at him.

                       "Every pony here'd like to be you Big Mac

                        Even when taking your lumps!"

     A general cheer rose up from the ponies at the table. Big Mac scowled and turned his chair around to once again face the fire. Pinkie Pie danced over to him and began playing with his face.

                       "There's no draft pony as admired as you

                        You're everypony's favorite guy

                        Everypony's awed and inspired by you"

     With a giggle Pinkie Pie grabbed hold of the chair and turned it to face the bakery again.

                       "And it's not...very see wwwhhhyyyyyy!"

     Aloe, Lotus, and Caramel all draped themselves against Big Mac's chair and sighed at him, while Pinkie Pie went spinning away.

                       "'s...slick as Big Mac

                        No one's quick as Big Mac

     Taking a belt she grabbed off somepony, she wrapped it around Big Mac's neck and pulled it tight.

                       "Nopony's neck's as incredibly thick as Big Mac's!

                        For there's no colt in town half as stallionly

                        Perfect, a pure Paragon

                        You can ask any Blues, Ace or Dashie

                        And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on!"

     As Big Mac flexed his neck muscles and snapped the belt, the three mentioned ponies and Doctor Whoof grabbed Pinkie Pie by the legs and began swinging her, joining in on the singing.

                       "'s...big like Big Mac

                        A king pin like Big Mac

                        No one's got a cool collar 'round his neck like Big Mac!"

     To the excitement of everypony there, Big Mac smiled at this bit and puffed his chest out.

                       "As a workhorse yes I'm intimidating!"

     The whole bakery went crazy as Big Mac finally joined in. Pinkie Pie grabbed a mug of root beer and clacked it against Doctor Whoof's, Rainbow Dash's, Blues', and Ace's mugs.

                        "My what a pony, that Big Mac!

                         Give five hurrahs,

                         Give twelve hip-hips

                         Big Mac is the best

                         And you rest are just drips!"

     What everypony except Pinkie Pie noticed was that, with this last line, she had inadvertently splashed her drink into Big Mac's face. They all laughed nervously at the glare he shot at the pink pony. With a wild neigh, Big Mac grabbed hold of Pinkie Pie and with her pounced on the table, which quickly dissolved into a messy melee.

                        "No one fights like Big Mac

                         None has might like Big Mac"

     Rainbow Dash yelped and flew out of the pile, clutching at a visibly throbbing rear leg.
                        "In a wrestling match nopony bites like Big Mac!"

     Meanwhile, Lotus, Aloe, and Caramel had taken Big Mac's place in his chair. Holding their front hooves to their chins, the trio swayed in unison.

                        "For there's no pony as burly and brawny..."

     Big Mac trotted back over to the chair and, with barely a grunt of effort, lifted it with his front legs into the air.

                        "As you see I've got muscles to spare!"

     Pinkie Pie came hopping over.

                        "Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny!"

     "Eyup!" Big Mac dropped the chair on Pinkie and began strutting around.

                        "And I'm the only pony who's withstood the Stare!"

     Here the crowd joined in once again.

                        "Nopony hits like Big Mac

                         Matches wits with Big Mac"

     Pinkie offered the belt back to Big Mac and giggled as he took a thick bite of it. "In a spitting match nopony spits like Big Mac!"

                        "I'm especially good at expectorating! PTOOIE!"

     The spit shot bounced around the bakery for several seconds before hitting Pinkie in the face and sending her tumbling to the floor. Rainbow Dash and the others cheered and held up score cards. "10 points for Big Mac!"

                        "When I was a colt I ate four dozen apples

                         Every morning to help me get large

                         And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen apples

                         So I'm ROUGHLY THE SIZE OF A BAAAAAARGE!"

     Rainbow Dash, Doctor Whoof, Ace, and Blues all held their mugs above their heads. As they did Big Mac kicked the chair Pinkie Pie had sat on, sending her flying through the air.

                        " like Big Mac

                         No one hollers like Big Mac

                         Then goes stomping around in his collar like Big Mac!"

     Big Mac reclaimed his chair by the fire and stretched back into it. "I use apples in all of my DECORATING!"

                        "My what a guy,
                         BIG MAAAAAAAA-"

     Pinkie Pie eeped as Dash and the others picked up Big Mac and his chair and dropped it onto her.


     As the whole bakery cheered, Pinkie Pie stuck her head out from under the chair and groaned. "Maybe next time he needs cheering up I'll just...give him a kiss or something."
Pinkie Pie tries to cheer Big Mac up in a strangely familiar fashion...

Note: critique is wanted. Any suggestions for improvement are appreciated.
Add a Comment:
Solaris90 Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
I'm glad I was able to entertain. :iconpinkieishappyplz:

Out of character? For most of them maybe, but I could see Pinkie Pie doing something like this. :) And Pinkie/Big Mac? That's insane!

...I'm going to try it sometime. XD
superwaffle350 Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2011
Oh yeah, Pinkie's definitely Pinkie! PinkMac seems insane yes. DOOO EEET!! lol Actually, I like the Rarity Mac thing I saw in KoE quite a bit. it just kinda works. It feels natural.
Solaris90 Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
*nods* really does feel natural, although I don't think they've ever even spoken in any episode.
superwaffle350 Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2011
That's what I love about Scotch's FlutterJack fic. It just WORKS y'know. Their personalities just mesh perfectly. I'm just gonna go ahead and lay down my ship favs:

Twi/The Doctor (Read "Number 12" by Squeak-Anon. It's awesome.[link])
For Dash, I'm gonna have to go with a fan char on this one. Stormchaser. If you've read the "Letters to Equestria" You'll get my drift. (ED post here: [link])
Pinkie... I don't think anyone can keep up with her long enough. And can you imagine breaking up with her? "You're gonna be my lover FOREVER!!!" Aaaand then Pinkamena comes out to play. :iconpinkiegonecrazyplz: Rejection issues much?
Solaris90 Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Eesh, scary. And yeah, Number 12 is one of the reasons I myself ship Twilight with Doctor Whoof.

I personally like Rainbow/Pinkie, even if it is a tad cliche. Though I'm still saddened by the complete lack of romantic, lasting Pinkie/Twilight shipping. I know it really doesn't work, but honestly!
superwaffle350 Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2011
It'd never work. Twi is too straight laced and logical, and Pinkie is so sporadic and, well, RANDOM. Sure they could learn from one another, but I don't think they could be themselves if they hooked up. I still see Twi/Pinkie and Dash/Pinkie as more friendships than relationships. The other ships work because they both compliment and complete each other.

Which of the mane 6 do you think you would be fast friends with? Not ship-wise, just buddies.
Any that'd just get on your nerves?
Solaris90 Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
That's easy. I'd definitely be fast friends with Twilight. We both love books and reading, plus living in a library is cool. I also really love jokes and lame puns and stuff, so I could easily see myself hanging out with Pinkie Pie as well. Honestly, the only member of the mane six I don't think I'd enjoy being around would be Rarity. She's just too...something, for me.
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Submitted on
June 16, 2011
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